A visit to a holiday corn maze turned into a truly scary scenario for a 3-year-old boy after police say he was left behind by his parents, who didn’t realize until the next day.
A good Samaritan is being credited with escorting the child to staff members at the Crazy Corn Maze in West Jordan, Utah, after finding him alone and scared around 7:40 p.m. Monday
As far as what happened, the child’s parents were described as living in a dwelling with multiple families and several little children. “They left with so many and came back one less,” he said.
My first thought when I saw this headline was, “I’ve been there.” Not literally to that specific corn maze, but who among us hasn’t gotten blasted at a corn maze? It’s awesome! And while I certainly don’t condone getting wasted and leaving your kids out in the wild… I understand.
But then I noticed some important details; “Utah…” “dwelling with multiple families…” “several little children…”
Mormons!
They weren’t drunk, they just had too many fucking kids! Eeeeeeevery once in a while you might think to yourself that having multiple wives would be awesome. There are certainly some obvious benefits. But as soon as you do the math you realize it would be a fucking nightmare. Case in point: this story. I can’t imagine what the scene was like when they finally figured it out the next day. The husband may have even dropped an audible “gosh darnit!” That wife won’t be getting into his magical underpants for a while.
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